The SURPRISE In The SPONTANEOUS Doctor!
by etakkate
Summary: After an argument in which Booth accuses Bones of being the least spontaneous person on the planet, Booth is taken aback when proven otherwise!   A little Aussie fic
1. Chapter 1

**This has been sitting on my computer for a while and I thought, what the heck! I'll post it! Suggestions are VERY welcome!**

**I don't own Bones**

**Set somewhere between season six and seven.**

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><p>Plucked abruptly from his paperwork induced daydream with a slap of an envelope hitting his desk, Booth's eyes snapped up to the excited face of his partner.<p>

"Bones! What the..."

"Booth, I have just done something uncharacteristically spontaneous and I am feeling a disparate combination of excitement, fear and apprehension." Her lip twitched in defiance of a smile, "I am also feeling quite... exhilarated."

Booth stood and moved hesitantly around to the front of his desk. Pulling a seat out for Brennan to sit on, he leaned back on the desk and sighed, "Bones, are you still mulling over that? I told you I didn't mean it as a bad thing."

"Booth! You said that I was '_completely rigid and the least impulsive person on the planet!' _That... sounds like a bad trait to me." Booth cringed as his words were thrown back at him and silently cursed her uncanny recall of their every conversation - verbatim. They had had their first fight almost two days prior. It had been an accumulation of fatigue, lack of squint staff and a rapid insurgence of pregnancy hormones.

She continued with her stubborn edged apology, "Whilst I believe that it is impossible to quantify my spontaneity or lack thereof – your opinion does matter to me and it prompted some self reflection. I have come to the conclusion that you are, _in part_, correct." Booth's eyebrows went skyward, "I _do_ maintain however, that structure and caution are essential to success but... a little spontaneity can be quite refreshing."

He nudged her knee affectionately with his and smiled in relief, "Good for you Bones. Good for you. So what'd you do? Take the long way here?" He jiggled his eyebrows playfully.

Ignoring his sarcasm, she smirked with a wily glint in her eyes gesturing to the envelope that she had previously tossed on his desk, "I think you will be suitably impressed."

Booth's smile went from playful to warm. It was this beautiful, excitable innocence that had him – hook line and sinker, head over heels in love with his partner. She was the most fiercely independent woman he knew but she had such a contrary naivety that it inadvertently brought out the white knight in him.

He chuckled as he slid his finger under the seal. _She probably bought me a lottery ticket, _he thought.

As a small pocket book slid out onto his open hand, Booth squinted as he read, "'The Little Book of Aussie Slang.' You gonna learn another language, Bones?"

"Australian English is hardly another language, Booth, but yes – I am studying Australian slang or strine."

"Why?"

She was positively bursting with anticipation, "If you examine the remaining contents of that envelope it may become clearer to you."

He dug in again, this time pulling out a document – letter-headed with a familiar flight company logo. His eyes went wide in shock as he flicked frantically through the pages, "No way! Bones! No _way_!"

She chuckled amusedly, "Way!"

"We're going on vacation? To Australia? But, you're pregnant!"

"Yes, Booth, I am pregnant, not grounded. I already have a letter from my GP stating that I am fit to fly."

His voice took on a boyish tone, "Bones! You got Parker a ticket too! Oh my God, Woman! I love you!"

Having read to his satisfaction, he threw the paper back to his desk, wrapped her in his arms and gave her a delighted jiggle hug. His grip faltered slightly as his thoughts caught up with him, "How are we all going to get time off with such short notice?"

"I have arranged it all and it's all been approved. I thought that Rebecca would object. As you know - she and Brent were going to take Parker away for the school vacation but she happily agreed when I told her it would be a good chance for you and him to spend some quality time together before the baby is born."

He tenderly held her face in his hand, "I love you so much Temperance. Did you know that?"

"Yes, and I: you."

After a quick peck on the lips, Brennan turned to leave. "See you at my place?"

Booth smiled contentedly, "Yeah."

Watching her walk away, he nodded and chuckled to himself, "Suitably impressed... more like blow out of my freaking mind!"

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><p><strong>Please let me know if you want this to continue.<strong>

I intend on making very good use of that little slang book - any suggestions on how and MOST welcome!


	2. It's a STINKER!

**Thank you for your encouragement! **

**Planes are boring so I jumped straight to vacation! I am imagining somewhere like Port Douglas. Let me know if my American references are incorrect. **

**I dont own Bones...**

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><p>The porter boy opened the door and ushered Brennan and Parker into the room. Handing the key to Booth, he explained how to operate the air conditioning unit, "She's an absolute stinker hey?"<p>

"I beg your pardon?" Brennan reappeared - discretely sniffing at her shirt, "if my body odour is offensive to you then, by all means... leave!"

The porter boy looked mortified. He stumbled over his words in apology, "No! M'am – I... I mean the weather – it's stinking hot! I... I hope the humidity is not too much for you guys."

Lowering his beet-red face – the man promptly bid them an enjoyable stay and left them to their room.

As soon as the door was shut, Booth and Parker doubled over in laughter.

Looking offensively between the two boys, Brennan's voice took on a child-like whine, "Wha? Boo-ooth!"

Feeling sorry for his adorably red faced partner, Booth attempted, unsuccessfully, to reign in his laughter but the snorting results only served to rile her further.

"Oh, c'mon, Bones! You gotta admit – that was... that was pretty funny!" He sidled over to her – placing his hands on her hips and kissing her playfully on the cheeks, "I thought that you were the expert on Aussie slang?"

"Yes, well, my literature made no reference to the fact that Australians assign a gender to meteorological patterns," slowly being won over by his persistent affections, her tone softened, "neither do I appreciate being referred to as a "Guy"... I am clearly a woman."

Booth chuckled suggestively and dropped his hands to her butt for a teasing squeeze, "Clearly you are!"

"Dad! I'm gonna go get my swim trunks on. You two are gross!"

After a quiet giggle and a kiss, Brennan pulled back, "I suppose I had better bathe. I am quite _stinky_ after all!"

Booth laughed and gave her a cheeky slap on the derrière as a parting gesture. Shaking his head – he smiled happily; _this is going to be a fun week!_

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><p><strong><em>Please share your thoughts!<em>**


	3. Thongs and Charming Booths

As the trio made their way to the resort pool, Brennan noticed that Booth winced ever so slightly with every barefoot step over the hot aggregate.

"You should have worn thongs Booth."

"Bones!" he hissed as he madly groped to cover Parker's ears, "Little ears!"

Brennan sniggered, "_Proportionally_ – Parker's ears are the same size as adult ears except in the case of geriatric..."

"I get it Bones. Just stick to age appropriate topics OK? No more _thong_ talk." His last words were whispered in embarrassment.

Laughing, Brennan continued, "You know, here in Australia, they call swim trunks budgerigar smugglers or budgie smugglers for short! I must admit – the visual image conjured up from that colloquialism is quite amusing."

The look of horror on Booth's face amused her even more, "Booth, you really should close your mouth – you may catch a fly."

Feigning offence, Booth shook his head – unable to keep the smile from his eyes, "You're deliberately _pushing_ me Bones."

"Your puritanical conscience makes it very easy."

He smiled – knowing it was an argument he couldn't win.

"Besides, I find I quite enjoy it." After a beat she continued, "Just to clear up any misunderstanding though, _thongs_ are flip flops. Also known as pluggers... I noticed that your feet were sensitive to the hot ground."

He looked at her tenderly, "You don't miss much do you Bones?"

"Not normally, no."

"Dad! Bones! Watch this!"

The couple's tender moment was abruptly lost as Parker's bomb dive showered them with cold water.

"Hey, Hey! Look at that!" Booth cheered before theatrically jumping in and spraying Brennan a second time – delighting in the childish scream that escaped from her lips.

"C'mon Bones! It's perfect in here!"

Booth looked on as she stripped down to her modest swim suit and tentatively entered the water from the shallow end. The feminine swell of her pregnant body was more beautiful than anything he had ever seen. To think that _his_ baby was growing within her filled him with an overwhelming blend of love, desire and absolute awe.

"Dad, you've got it so bad!" laughed Parker, shaking his head and flicking his Dad with water.

Booth put on his innocent face, "What!" he squeaked, "Can't blame a guy for looking! And you can't talk, Pal, you're not as discrete as you would like to think! Though, I can't blame you – she was a cutie."

Parker furrowed his brow, "Pff! I don't know what you're talking about!"

"I saw you ogling that pretty girl with curly blonde hair at reception this morning." Noticing the growing pink tinge on his son's face, Booth toned it down a little, "But hey, it's cool, your secret's safe with me, kid." He winked and playfully splashed his son in the face before swimming up to his partner who had conveniently made her way to the swim-up bar.

Parker watched his dad swim over to Bones. He was so happy that things were finally going right for his dad and that he had made Bones his girlfriend. Yeah, the baby – well, _that_ was a bit sudden but it's not like he wasn't expecting to become a big brother one day – his dad made no secret of the fact that he wanted more kids.

In a strange and weird way – this whole Dad and Bones thing was kinda grounding... comfortable. It kinda made Parker feel like he was a part of a _real_ family and it was so good to see his old man so happy and relaxed. Yeah – fair enough – his mum and Captain Fantastic had been together long enough to be called a family but it felt so forced; it was as if he couldn't be himself around Brent.

_With Bones and Dad – it's just natural._

Parker's heart stopped mid-beat as his attention was pulled magnetically towards the familiar angelic vision of sun-kissed blonde curls that slowly descended into the water.

_Wow!_

Parker Booth was positively mystified.

But... he was a Booth... and a Booth man _never_ backed out of an opportunity to work a little charm so, he gathered his courage and resolved to introduce himself. With a shake of his head, Parker smiled excitedly, _Man this is going to be a fun week!_

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><p><strong>In this fic Parker is around 11. Too young for holiday romance but never too young for a little crush. Let me know what you think! :)<strong>


	4. Rusty Nails and Sex Appeal

Booth rolled over to his back and leisurely floated over to Brennan – enjoying the warm sun mottling through the melaleuca trees. They were in Far North Queensland's tropical seaside village, Port Douglas where the rainforest meets the ocean.

Despite the palm tree lined streets of the village itself, the resort was a picturesque hideaway of 100 year old towering figs and melaleucas dotted about the resort's meandering pool. The restaurant and bar sat suspended over the water of the pool on a deck lined with burning citronella torches – swathing the place with the classic scent of the tropics.

Across from the bar, where Parker had taken seat – the rushing cadence of the rock waterfall and cave added to the overall atmosphere of relaxation and carefree tranquillity.

Booth flipped and swam stealthily up to Brennan as she sat facing the swim-up bar. Gently gliding his hands over her baby bump, Booth hummed into Brennan's ear, "Hey there beautiful, you come here often?"

Brennan twisted around to give her partner an, _are you stupid_ look, "Booth, you are quite aware of the fact that I have _never_ been here before."

Slumping beside her in the underwater stool, Booth sighed, "Meh! You can't say I don't at least try to be romantic Bones!"

Still confused, Brennan pointed to the stout frosted glass in front of him, "I purchased you a drink. Apparently it is quite a popular beverage here at the resort."

"Thanks Bones, what is it?"

"It's called a rusty nail. The barkeep assured me it is quite..." she eyed his water beaded chest appreciatively, finishing on a purr "...pleasant."

He sent her a charming wink, took a swig and grimaced, "Whoo! How much did this set you back?"

"It was $20 Australian."

"Ouch! Bones! I am happy with just the usual."

Brennan lowered her voice conspiratorially, "Booth! I suggest you do not call their pricing policy into question – you do _not_ want to offend the natives!"

Booth smiled apologetically at the affronted bartender and lowered his head in jest, "I bow to the Queen of diplomacy, Bones!"

She pulled back with a questioning look, "I don't know what you mean Booth."

Booth's attention was pulled to the laughter of his son's company over by the waterfall and he smiled. _That's my boy - workin' the Booth magic! _

"Never-mind, Bones." He took a long swig of his drink – acquiring to the smooth, woody taste and waved his glass in the direction of his preteen progeny, "Look at my boy wouldya – bustin' the moves!" He shook his head despairingly, nodding toward her belly, "I am so screwed if this is a girl!"

Brennan's face twisted in confusion – this conversation was clearly flying over her head, "You said you wanted a girl! Your contradictions are confusing me Booth."

"Yeah, I want a girl but, when you have a girl – it just... it's different, Bones."

"How so... apart from the obvious anatomical differences? Explain it to me so I understand."

"I don't know. When you have a girl... I don't know... you kinda expect that you're gonna have to sit at the front door with a shotgun, ya know?"

"No."

"Yeah, of course not!" Booth sighed to the heavens, "Bones, you're hot right?"

"If you are suggesting that I am attractive to the opposite sex then I would have to agree with you – I have never had a problem acquiring sexu..."

"Yeah! I get it! Geez... a little modesty wouldn't go astray, Bones but anyway. If we had a girl – it would go without saying that... _genetically_ she would be predisposed to being attractive."

She smiled, her eyes running slowly and admiringly over her partner's form, "Yes of course, Booth. That is one of the reasons I originally chose you as a sperm donor."

"Ri-ight!" Booth shook his head in wonder and signalled the bartender for another drink.

"What are you saying Booth?"

"I'm saying that; we have a girl, she's _attractive_ – you're gonna get boys hanging around ya know?"

"You mean that she will have interest from the opposite sex?"

"YES! Just... yes!" Booth took a frustrated swig of his drink.

"I... fail to see your point, Booth. Sex is a natural process in the life..."

His eyebrows shot up in shock, "_Yeah, but not at his age! Geez!_" he gestured at Parker with his drink – the ice sloshing loudly against the glass, "Look, you feel like you want to protect your baby from danger, right?

"Of course Booth!

Booth slid of his seat and moved through the water to stand between her legs. Running his hands lovingly over her belly to caress his child, he lowered his voice to a passionate whisper and looked into her eyes, "I will do _everything_ I can to protect this baby from all the emotional crap that you and I had to go through as kids, OK? If that includes waving my gun around at little hormonally charged boys to scare them away till they are man enough to deal with her Daddy then so be it, OK?"

Brennan smiled through her wet eyes, "_That..._ is why I would choose no-one else to father my children Booth. Our baby will be so fortunate to have you as a "Daddy"."

Booth's whole face lit up with love as he dipped in for a kiss, silently thanking God that this argument was over, "I love you Bones."

"Does that mean you would be comfortable having _her_ father waving a gun around at Parker?" Brennan pointed with her eyes at Parker and his cute little blonde companion laughing and splashing at the far side of the pool."

Booth laughed, "Bones, Parker thinks that _kissing_ is gross. I don't think that I will have to worry about him in that regard for at least another year or two."

"You _hope_!" Brennan quirked an eyebrow and took a sip of her iced tea, then swished the straw around a few times to loosen the ice, "How were _you_ thinking about girls at his age?"

A grey pallor washed over Booth's face as he smiled nervously, "I'm just gonna..." he nudged his head in his son's direction, "go... you know, introduce myself... to her dad..." then more to himself he continued, "wave my badge around a bit, pat him down."

Brennan smiled to herself; content in the fact that this was the closest she felt to being a part of a solid, loving family in twenty years. Finishing off her iced tea, she slipped off her stool and turned in time to see the little girls face go a rosy shade of pink as Parker introduced his Dad. Obviously – Brennan wasn't the only one affected by her partner's aesthetics. Her smile grew as she made her way over... _This is shaping up to be a very interesting week!_

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><p><strong><em>Please review!<em>**


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